1. |
SOFT AND DRY
03:08
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We're here to talk about the moisture
he gon' rob from your bearded oyster
he gon' leave em soft and dry
he'sh the besht in the business
get up come on get down with the limpnesh
he'sh gon' leave em shoft and dry
honey bucket gon' be at dirty Dust Bowl
weiner gon' look like a flimsy flag pole
he's gon' leave ya Soft and Dry
Turning all your cukes into lumpy gherkins
jacked up lady bits won't be workin'
he gon' leave ya soft and dry
Soft and Dry soft and dry
he'll leave your junk Soft and Dry
When it comes to genitalia
you know that boy will fail ya
he's gonna leave em soft and dry
He doesn't need any potion
just a simple selfish notion
he's gonna leave em soft and dry
He's the type of guy that makes your panties fall up
prolapse, piss flaps gonna dry up
he's going to leave you soft and dry
Jerk off in the park and make your doggy throw up
he's the dude from no girls no cup
he's gonna leave ya soft and dry
soft and dry soft and dry
your penis is going to be soft and your vagina dry
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2. |
HEAD WILL EXPLODE
02:24
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Sitting backstage at a show
snorting rails of camel toes (fuck yeah)
that's the life for me
once upon a fucking time
we did that shit all the time (fuck yeah)
once we were free
The only thing in this fucked up world
the only thing keeping me sane
my music my Bros and an endless Road
and titties soaked in champagne
I miss the bands and I miss my friends
and years staring out at the road
Do you miss your freedom? do you miss your life?
do you feel like your head will explode?
head will explode
Bass, drums, Guitar Stacks
some dude puking in the back (fuck yeah)
those were the days.
blood dripping off her sacks
under bridges smoking crack (fuck yeah)
we can't change our ways
it's all I know I don't know no more
allow me to further explain
my music my Bros an endless Road
and titties soaked in champagne
You can take our semen
and you can take our socks
but try to take our music
and you can suck a cock
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3. |
HANDS FREE PEELOFF
03:01
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Well you see I got this bag
it's really starting to say
and it's quite a drag
when the skin from my balls gets fused to my leg
but that's life
or so the fuckheads say
but you can learn to win the game
as long as you're ready to scrape
In the event you're scrotum gets fastened to your thigh (free the boys) nutsack and balls are intertwined
grab your trusty spatula and pry (free the boys)
or check this out it's pretty sweet you guys
Hands-free peel off it's a brand new dance
a battle for Freedom with the balls in my pants hands-free peel off no one knows hands-free peel off let em go
Inflammation and a mild irritation on your dick (free the boys)
sometimes Gold Bond just don't do the trick
hang on dudes I know just what to do (free the boys)
a Ninja Kick will separate the goo
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4. |
SMALL DICK ENERGY
02:05
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I want to be the leader of this falling world
perhaps that will make me feel better
it doesn't help the fact that my penis looks like
a button on a fur sweater
when I go home and fuck my cat (when he goes home he fucks his cat)
it doesn't wake up from it's nap (it's fucking dead it's not a nap)
but I don't really give a crap (he doesn't really give a crap)
a tiny penis is where it's at (tiny penis)
I want to destroy you all
because my weiner is so small
None of the ladies will date me
cuz I'm hung like a jalapeno chili
yes all I want is power Fame and money bitch
and to watch the world crumble in my hands
and though my penis is quite miniscule
I got an oversized urethra gland
When I go home and fuck my cat (it's an opossum not a cat)
it doesn't wake up from it's nap (it's fucking dead it's not a nap)
but I don't really give a crap (he doesn't really give a crap)
a tiny penis is where it's at (tiny penis)
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5. |
DIRT DEVIL MAN
03:22
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I fuck vacuums
Good evening concert may I borrow your vacuum to screw
I'm a Dirt Devil I'm a Dirt Devil Man
I'm a Dirt Devil I'm a Dirt Devil Man
when I was 12 like any boy I was in too many things
like making love to appliances for 20 second Flings
I made a promise to my baby boo that those days were dead and gone
but it never fails that Coily Tail it turns this bastard on because
I'm a Dirt Devil I'm a Dirt Devil Man
I used to rock a Hoover but now I'm a Devil man
She nearly sucked my balls clean off but it didn't stop my fun
my mommy caught me fuckin it and she sent me to a nun
who locked me and the cellar man she threw away the key
but I broke out got a kitchen knife and cut her gingerly because
I'm a Dirt Devil on a dirt devil man
I used to f*** a Dyson but now I'm a devil man
Well it ain't no watermelon with the whole cut in the side
but I like to pork my vacuum with pride
Well my uncle beat me half to death when I banged his filter queen
it was worth it man the suction made my urethra mighty clean
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6. |
WE THE SHPONGOOLI
02:42
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First they take our freedoms away
we can't help the fact that we were born this way
and that's when they shave us and rape
electric barbed wire fences so they can escape
we the sheeple we the sheeple
we the Sheeple together we stand
against oppressive fathers with their velcro hands
they took our family and killed our land
just cuz we were born half sheep half man
and they forced us to stand in a line
is that really living or just wasting time
to ponder the future of course
like what if our founding fathers would have fucked a horse
we the sheeple we the sheeple
we the sheeple don't have a choice
unless we all baaaaahh in a United voice
they took our families raped our land
just cuz we were born half sheep half man
*angry sheeple mob
All they want is total control
all they want is total control
all they want is total control
all they want is Total Control
first they take our freedoms away
we can't help the fact that we were born this way
that's when they shave us and rape
electric barbed wire fences so they can't escape
we the Sheeple have had enough
we want to be free and that other stuff
You killed our families and took our land
Just cuz we were born half sheep half man
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7. |
I DON'T WIPE
02:24
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spectacles testicles wallet and watch
is that your feet are do I smell your crotch?
when I get up I leave a splotch
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
there's something wrong with the world today
people starving and you're wiping away
I don't wipe baby I Was Born This Way
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
I don't wipe
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
I don't wipe
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
Ignore the blisters forget the rash
Leave that poopy on your gash
No more TP just save your cash
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
It itches bad I can't deny
fuck the system don't comply
wiping leads to wearing a tie
if that's wrong I don't want to be right
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8. |
RICHARD GNECKMAN
02:12
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Dick neck Steve was a dick neck man
from The Faraway planet of Dickneckistan
he had a dick for a neck and balls for hands
vaginas for feet on which he ran
vaginas for feet that's hard to believe
the thing that should not be dick neck Steve
the tits on his back were his Saving Grace
not to mention the clitoris in the middle of his face
and so he wanders the streets alone
no one who cares no place to call his home
he cries himself to sleep with sticky tears every night
cuz nobody loves a dick neck
dick next Steve they all ran when they saw you coming
Dick neck Steve you are filthy slut you had it coming
Dick neck Steve you live your life so sad and lonely
dick neck Steve only wanted to be human
Dick neck Steve well he looked just fine to me
I mean who really cares if his ears leak pee
and yeah it's kind of gross he's got those labia toes
and when he gets aroused his dick neck grows
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9. |
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where'd everybody go?
I'd really like to know
We all came to rock and roll
do some drugs and bang a troll
circumstances has it so
there's no one at the show
fascist pigs are on a roll
trading lives for heaps of dough
like where's the dude with the camel toe
there's no one at the show
there's no one at the show
but that's not new to me
the virus took control
we used to get our drugs for free
like a pornstar to Ron Jeremy's Pole
we've sucked the essence of her soul
but where's a poor GNAR to go
there's no one at the show
UM UH hey bro
can you score me some shitty blow?
maybe we could crash out on your floor
there's no one at the show
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10. |
ITCHY DICKHOLE
02:35
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This tale is going to make a mother fucker cry
a tale of woe for the snake eye
talking about my itchy dick hole
a mix of jealousy and fear
it won the best hole of the year
just my itchy dick hole
and It Burns Burns
like the whole damn band's been taken turns
it hurts hurts
my piss just dribbles instead of Squirts
and it bleeds bleeds
when I use a coat hanger for my itching needs
it stinks stinks
when I scrub it out in your kitchen sink
it's hot to trot it's ready to go
it's just my itchy dick hole
it's ready to rock it's out of control
just my itchy dick hole
it's burning a little bit hot tonight
I can barely drop a load from the heat coming off it
reach down between my legs and ease my balls back
reach down between my legs and ease my balls back
now grab that drumstick friend
and jab that mother fucker in
in my itchy dick hole
just pull it in and out again
bring my sorrow to an end
ream out that itchy dick hole
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11. |
ANTICIPOOP
01:57
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My name is Patrick shnayze
I'm cocaine crazy
I'd trade schneef for my baby naw mean ?
they call me Kevin Shnaycon
my nose holes be achin'
for white powdery bacon naw mean?
when your somebody Taps a card
and you shit inside your car
anticipoop anticipoop
and your buddy laugh snorts
crap fills up your shorts
anticipoop
Keep your poop in a group
your crap in a stack
your feces in little pieces
and you're dung Upon A rung
Anticipoop
I'll be your shnayvid lee Roth
I got a duke touching cloth
cuz hoonies coming over with shnay
they call me Shnady Gaga
I gotta go caca
Skiddley op bop a dooba dop bop
Cocaine
if you see a bill that's rolled
and your bowels lose control
anticipoop anticipoop
And the mention of cocaine
makes your large intestine drain
Anticipoop
We made the call for Shnay
and sucking dick for blow and gay
and now my guts are turning to soup
I got my crap in a stack
and it's splashing up my back
Anticipoop
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12. |
LOLA
03:54
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